“I am a gay man who believe that it is still possible to have a loving, committed relationship between two people that can withstand the test of time. I see so much failure in our society. So much hurt ,so much anger, so much jealousy and I seek for a life in a much better environment. For ours is a love and life that would be celebrated, not condemned. My one goal? To find a partner and form a relationship that will be marked everyone’s memories.”
What I wrote 4 years ago…..
My love life is yet again taking a down fall, Shawn EX asked Shawn back in his life which I told him was MAJOR BULL SHIT. I don’t like the “MAKE UP BREAK UP” and I sure don’t think Shawn deserves such tease. If he wants to be happy , let it be. I told him “this is not about me Shawn but about you and I want you to be happy, just remember that I will be here if you need me” I don’t know if I just fucked up or what. I like Shawn but sometimes Letting things fall into place makes life so much interesting.
I would like him to see how happy I can make him and what he is missing, i tried so hard to be everything i wanted and to push myself into doing things that are right. I am not a whore,beater,hater,drugy,stupid,girly, or someone who doesn’t know what he wants. I am a little low-self-esteem but that’s because I want to just make myself look and feel better about myself. BRACES TO ST8 MY TEETH is a perfect example. I don’t want to have nasty teeth, so im working hard to get them braces. Life only comes once and love walking in your door asking you to take it. Should i take it like i did 7 yrs ago? I know i can do it, im just not sure if they can. I always feel someone would rescue me from this loneliness but im sure im just dreaming.
He means the world to me ,but its time to let myself be loved and do the same. I think im possibly maybe falling for HIM. I just cant let it go. Ever since that night, I feel like I got something good in my hands and im being stupid for letting it go. I should stand up and say “I care for you and i want to make u happy” I am not scared of taking risk….why should i? I believe that everyone deserves a happy ending and i also believe that WE CAN MAKE IT WORK……HOOO RRRRR!!!!! I got so many things on my mind ………..and only thinking of him ACTUALLY relaxes me and it makes me wonder………..is he the one? hahaha
think about it?
“coming home from a bad day and see him smile will bring happiness to my life” just with that ONE smile.Me holding him and letting him free his mind and soul without a care, lose ourselves in time and say “can it get any better?” Romance is what I like to show, but I cant also wait to see those funny moments when he tried to cook something new and almost burn the house down or when he gets so drunk and pukes and I STILL MAKE OUT WITH HIM …..lol
When we make love and he gives me a Bruce because I fell from the bed. Lol
I would try to be romantic and send him roses at work or do an outside dinner with candles wile we sit under the stars. On his bday i would surprise him with a puppy or a kittie lol whatever he wants *fish* and laugh when he doesn’t feed it for day and it dies.lol
Course i will have the bad boy themes like taking him go karting and kicking his ass in racing or when we are in the roller coasters and he would be so scared to ride “them big boy rides” lol or maybe i will be the pussy one. lol U NEVER KNOW.
Im sure i can make him happy…..yes i would.
But does he notice me?
(if the video don’t work, here is the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Qg_ICDf0bE )
